Posts Tagged ‘social media’

Me: [Sleeping] Zzz… Zzz… Zzz...

Dog: [Resting his head on the bed mere inches from my slumbering face] Siiiiigggghhhhh.

Me: Zzz… Zzz…

Cat: [Jumps up on the bed, then on top of me and walks the entire length of my body, from toe to head and begins to nibble on my nose].

Me: Zzz… Zzz… ZzOUCH! [Opening my eyes, all I can see is orange and brown fur and feel something cold and wet inside my mouth. It’s the dog’s nose]. DAAAAMMMMMMMM IITTTTTTTTTT!

[Dog and Cat high-five each other and bolt out of my bedroom]

Me: [mumbling] …wake me up… nose in my mouth… stupid cat face… dog ass all up in my business… trying get some sleep… stupid jerk animals…

I gruffly throw the covers aside and sit up. Rubbing my eyes, I turn my head over my right shoulder to check the clock.


Wincing in pain and unable to return my head to forward-facing position, I hear the muffled giggles of Dog and Cat from the hallway outside my bedroom. It’s 8:32 AM.

I throw on a smokey t-shirt from last night. I pee. I make coffee. I open the back door and step out of the way of the stampeding dog and cat who cautiously, excitedly dart past me like children afraid of being spanked and with you-can’t-catch-me giggles. Jerks.

I drink my coffee from my favorite Buffalo Sabres mug and stare out the back window as I try to massage my neck with my free hand. I watch my pets chew on sticks, pee on bushes and rambunctiously chase each other around the yard trying to bite the other’s tail.

I think about last night and how grateful I am to live in a city where our online community backs up the internet chitchat and holds informative and fun social networking events. The Richmond chapter of Social Media Club had another great turnout. The topic of using social media in your local business’s marketing strategy was something that, I think, a lot of attendees found very informative. Of course, the real fun took place afterwards at Mekong Restaurant, where we enjoyed delicious (and complimentary – thanks, An) Belgian beers and Vietnamese food. I was talking with a fellow freelancer and newcomer to the SMCRVA-scene about how our online community has grown into an actual professional and social network that can generate real business for people like us. Writers talk to marketers. Marketers talk to business owners. Business owners talk to the web developers. It’s not only a great vehicle for shameless self-promotion, but also the perfect place to find collaborative partners with similar interests.

The professional side of networking eventually gave way to the hash brown side of networking when some of us rolled up to the Waffle House. Of course, HashBrownNetworking always gives way to EmbassySuitesNetworking, which is the perfect and most ridiculously awesome way to cap off the night. The gossip flies and the wine flows like wine. Or like beer. No, the beer flows like wine. Whatever. I think we need to have a week-long convention. Vegas, anyone?

But where was I? Ah, yes. Stupid Dog and Cat are now pawing at the door.

Me: No, sorry. I don’t want whatever you’re selling.

Dog: Let us in!

Me: What? No, sorry. I’m not interested.

Cat: Not funny!

Me: No, thank you. I don’t want any.

Dog: C’MON!

Cat: I’m hungry!

Me: Sorry. Can’t hear you. Please get off my property.

[Now we’re just staring at each other through the window]

Me: Okay. Bye.

I walk away and pour myself more coffee. I’m thinking about the articles I need to start writing. I’m thinking about how much I enjoy my life right now. Still broke, still *technically* unemployed, but really feel as if I’m on the right track, career-wise.

This is Day 142, folks. Muffled barks and meows coming from the back door.


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Morning productivity

If there is one thing about being unemployed (or “freelancing”, as I call it) that I actually enjoy, it’s the waking up whenever my body darn well feels like it. I like opening my eyes and staring at the wall, trying to guess what time it is.

“8? 8:30?” [grabs phone] “Holy crap! 9:37! Sweet!”

I’m not a big sleeper-inner, so I’m usually up around 9:30. It doesn’t matter, though, because I have a few things that I force myself to do before noon – no matter what time I drag my groggy butt outta bed.

Coffee followed by some articles followed by some social media internetting followed by an intense application blitz followed by some fleeting thoughts about exercising followed by either the malljob or a sandwich with extra Doritos (on the sandwich, mind you). There also might be a nap in there somewhere. And maybe some more articles.

My sandwich shop

I make awesome sandwiches. I had one yesterday that I like to call The Cousin Larry™. If you’ve been reading my posts since the beginning, you know that I like to name my sandwich creations. One day I’m going to open a sandwich shop that will feature delicious sandwiches named after TV/movie characters. Most of them will be pretty obscure. It’s gonna be awesome. Just you wait. Anyway, The Cousin Larry™ doesn’t have pickles (most of my awesome creations do). It does, however, have Doritos intermingling between the salami and the lettuce. Fantabulous, if I do say so myself.

You know who eats salami? My dad. He eats bologna and salami with American cheese on wheat bread with KETCHUP. Every. Single. Day. In my shop, that sammich will be named The Carl Harrington™. Okay, so he’s not a TV character, but I’m pretty sure no one will buy it anyway. Except him. How awesome would that be to have your favorite sandwich named after you?

“Hi, I’d like a ME please. Extra ketchup.”

What I’ve got coming up

I’m speaking on a panel this Wednesday. About what? What else? Being unemployed! I’ll give a little presentation on how I’m using social media to network and create professional relationships with people who can put me on their payroll. Basically, I’ll be giving advice to unemployed people about how to use social media to their advantage. It should be interesting, since I haven’t done any public speaking in a very long time. Not to mention that I have no clue what I’m going to say. I should probably write some stuff down, huh? Apparently, I’m winning at unemployment if people want to hear me speak about my joblessness. Hey, I got a free lunch out of it. SO CHALK ANOTHER ONE UP IN THE WIN COLUMN, FELLAS!

I make unemployment look easy.

This is Day 124, folks. Just some Monday evening ramblings while the wifey is babysitting and making that real dolla-dolla. Still malljobbin’, still writing, still looking for more. Last night I had a dream we moved to Charlotte. Hoping that becomes a reality soon.

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Internet people can drink. Did you know that? They can totally drink. I saw them last night. They were drinking and smoking and listening to panel discussions and arguing about how awesome Rush Limbaugh is (what?) and they were social networking. In real life. It’s like if twitter and facebook were a brick and mortar building. It was totally like that. Especially with all the poking and nudging.

The crowd was diverse. Well, not ethnically. Lotsa whiteys. But each person had reasons for attending. Mine, of course, was to shmooze it up with people whom I could hypnotize into paying me buckets of money. I’m not sure I succeeded, but I did hand out a shload of business cards and have developed carpal tunnel from all the vigorous hand-shaking. Some folks were there to promote their business. Some came to find business. Some were genuinely interested in the panel discussion about social media and it’s impact on journalism (I was). Some came hoping to figure out the identity of TheCheckoutGirl. Some just wanted to hang out and socialize with the spectacular Rivah City online community.

I met a lot of these folks at last month’s event, but this one had almost double the attendees, so I had some meetin’ & greetin’ to do. You know what was cool? I got recognized, like TWICE. They were all, “Hi, Matt! How’s the job search?” and I was all “What?! Are you the one in the black car outside my house with the sunglasses and the ear-piece? Because I am not too proud to wear a tinfoil hat in public.” Then I remembered I have this blog and there might be a few people who read it. Okay, a COUPLE people who read it.

Then I was told by one of my twitterfriends that my blog may be hurting my chances of finding a job. I think she felt bad for telling me that, but I appreciate her honesty. Basically, what she was trying to say is that SHE wouldn’t hire me because she thinks I’m a jerk. That kind of hurt, because seriously, I’ve toned down a lot of what I say and really have tried to make these unemployment updates readable and funny without being vulgar. Which is really hard to do, because I’m a Vulgar McVulgartin in real life.

I was walking a delicate line of trying not to be TOO social (you know, trying to find a job and all) and still having fun with the troublemakers and cool kids. I think I handled myself in a professional and respectable manner. Until the after party.

Sticky Rice. Love that place. The troublemakers I mentioned? They were at Sticky Rice. It was Tuesday karaoke night to boot, so you know I gave a little Sister Christian. (My staple, Bust A Move, never made it into the rotation for some reason. I think the DJ was mad at me for screaming into the mic the first time ’round). Anywhoo, it was a great time hanging out with the awesome folks that may or may not have included the Richmond Blogging and Alternative Journalism Elite. You know who you are – and nights like last night are the reason why you need to hire me. Because I can throw down with you guys like a pro. Or I’ll just blog about all the crazy stuff you did, blackmail-style. I’m not above that. Desperate times call for blahblahblah. Also, I got to hang out with the Jessica Rabbit of tech and PR blogs, who is a sorta-famous writer/videographer/critiquer for a nationally recognized website (among other things). Very happy to have chatted with her about industry-stuff. Or about aliens and robots. I can’t really remember. It’s all kind of hazy.

Will a job come out of this? Maybe. Okay, probably not. But it’s good to get to know the people in the community who have the pull to put me in touch with someone who may need my talent and expertise and charm and wit and MOTORIN’ screaming ability.

This is Day 56, folks. SMCRVA? Let’s do this again next month. Yeah. Next month. My hangover should be gone by then.

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